January 20, 2013
Weddings and Wine
- Isaiah 62:1-5
- Rev Ruth Chadwick Moore
Unlike some ministers, I really like to officiate at weddings. According to my files I have performed 38 weddings so far in my 10 years of ordained ministry. Actually I have done 39 weddings but my first one was before I was ordained, so you can’t tell anybody or I could get in trouble. I officiated at my brother and sister in law’s wedding – or I guess you could call it a commitment service since I wasn’t legally able to perform weddings yet. But it’s ok because they went to the court house in NYC and made it official and legal and they have been married about 11 years now. I am officiating in two weeks at the wedding of Megan Grimes. Many of you may have known her grandparents, Northminster members Herb and Peggy Grimes or her dad Kent Grimes. I was involved in the funerals for Megan’s grandparents and father, and we have kept in touch. So it is with much joy that I now have the honor of participating in this happy occasion with her.
I enjoy doing the premarital counseling with my couples and planning for the worship service and exchange of vows. Of course the wedding ceremony is only a small part of wedding planning and preparation these days. Much of the time and energy goes into the flowers, the dress, the bridesmaid’s dresses, the reception, the food, the band or dj and of course the cake. I read somewhere that the average cost of an American wedding – the average cost – is about $28,000. Because of this Mark and I spend a great deal of time managing our daughters’ expectations and we keep reminding them that we have a big back yard for a reception.
Our gospel lesson for today is about a wedding in Cana. Now a wedding or a wedding reception/party in Jesus’ time lasted for about a week. So our one day wedding celebrations are pretty paltry in comparison. In those days, the bride and groom celebrated the marriage not with a honeymoon, but with a seven day wedding feast at the groom’s home. But this biblical wedding celebration has run into a problem, because the wine is giving out before the party is over.
When I plan a wedding ceremony with a couple I always tell them to be prepared for something to go wrong. Most of the couples I work with have planned everything about the day down to the smallest detail – but something always occurs that is not planned. Maybe the flower girl or ring bearer won’t walk down the aisle. One time I did a wedding and the organist didn’t show up – that was a fun one! And things can go wrong at the reception too. Maybe you have guests show up who did not RSVP – that happened at our wedding! We also had someone who switched some of the gift tags on our presents so we thanked people for the wrong gift. Maybe you under estimated how much food you would need, or you might have run out of beer or even – heaven forbid – you might have run out of wine!
In our wedding at Cana, running out of wine constitutes a crisis for the family who shoulders the responsibility of hospitality. Wine was a very common element of ancient life, and to not have enough at a big event like a wedding would have brought shame to the groom’s family. But then Mary, the mother of Jesus, steps in and saves the day. Some scholars believe that Mary was a relative of someone at the wedding or at least a good friend. She is obviously paying attention to what is going on and does not want the family to be embarrassed or the celebration to be short changed – so she takes action to help. Jesus on the other hand doesn’t seem to be too interested in what is going on and keeps his distance at first. When his mother tells the servants to do whatever Jesus says, Jesus performs his first miracle or sign in the gospel of John. It is an understated act but mighty in its outcome. Jesus says: “Fill the jars with water… Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.” The best wine is now served to keep the party going. The servants know what has happened, the steward is amazed and the disciples believe in Jesus. How is that for a happy ending? Everyone seems to sense that the joyous feast has been saved.
I think sometimes the church needs to be reminded that our Lord once attended a wedding feast and said yes to gladness and joy. Prompted by his earthly mother, Jesus turned water into wine to point us to his heavenly Father, a God who loves to hear his people celebrating life’s milestones. Sometimes the church forgets to live the joy of such revelation.
I don’t know what going to church was like for you as a child. I grew up in a Presbyterian Church in Ardmore Pennsylvania – just outside Philadelphia. 1st Pres Ardmore was a formal, stone, church and to be honest I rarely went to worship when I was growing up. I was in Sunday School when worship was going on and they didn’t have a children’s sermon for us to participate in. But going to church and practicing and living my faith was mostly a Sunday kind of thing for me. Church came around every week, but it didn’t have much to do with the rest of my week – with the rest of my life. But the sign or the miracle at Cana reminds us and points us to the fact that Jesus served a God who puts joy into ordinary human life and who thinks it is worth a miracle to keep the party going. God is active and present in our lives in both the good and the bad times, whether we are aware of it or not.
God doesn’t want our religion to be too holy to be happy in it or to find joy in it. Throughout his life and ministry Jesus of Nazareth celebrated people – people getting married, people being healed of disease and deformity, people enjoying meals together. He carried a spirit of celebration with him wherever he went as he proclaimed a God of mercy and peace and joy. This joyous feast at Cana is still a sign to the church and a reminder to all of us that we are to rejoice in and with the people of God. And we are to toast the world with the amazing good news of God’s grace. We were not just created for work or service – we were also created to experience joy – joy within our families and at celebrations – and to enjoy our lives and our God.
Another joyful part of this wedding story is the extravagant abundance that characterizes this miracle. We have abundance both in the outstanding quantity of the wine that is produced – over 180 gallons – and in the outstanding quality of the wine. Depending on the number of people at the wedding I think they are good to go for many more days – at least in terms of liquid refreshment! This first of Jesus’ signs is the “inaugural act of God’s promised salvation.” Jesus has come to usher in God’s kingdom of abundance and joy and hope, and this sign points us to that reality. Like the wine steward, we are called to recognize and choose the better things in life and to recognize the One who is the source of all these good things.
Now of course there are some troubling aspects to this story. First there is Jesus’ response to his mother’s plea to fix the problem of no wine. She obviously saw her son as someone who could and should do something about it. Is this because as a small child she saw him performing other miracles? We don’t know the answer to this question. But Jesus’ response to his mother does seem rude to us. And he seems reluctant at first to help in any way. I wonder why? Jesus’ response to his mother in the original Greek doesn’t sound nearly as abrupt – but it does indicate a detachment from the situation by Jesus. Maybe this is because Jesus wasn’t planning on performing any miracles just yet. As he says “My hour has not yet come.” He had just begun his ministry at this point and he had just called the disciples. He’s kind of just getting his feet wet at this savior business. So my Tuesday morning theologians (i.e.: my Tuesday morning bible study ladies) and I have decided that Jesus’ mother nudged Jesus into doing something that he wasn’t quite ready for. And let’s be honest. Turning water into wine is not nearly as big a deal as curing someone’s leprosy or bringing someone back from the dead. So this was a small miracle, a small sign. And really the only people who were aware of what he did were Mary, the servants and the disciples. But nevertheless, it does point to Jesus’ power and it does make the disciples believe in him. And maybe it takes our nudges, our pleas, our prayers to ask God to do something God is not quite ready for.
The other problem I have with this text is that is seems like magic. Really, turning water into wine – don’t magicians do things like that? And we see a world in need and we believe in One who is supposed to bring abundant life to those in need. But some people don’t even have clean water let only fine wine – so where is the extravagance in that? And while I am all for the joy and the celebration in this story, how do we reconcile a story of such extravagant generosity with a world in such tremendous need? This is where I believe we can follow in the footsteps of the mother of Jesus by prodding God for divine compassion and generosity. I guess you could say mother knows best. But that trivializes what Mary has done. What I see in this text is the story of what God has in mind, but I also feel pulled to question what God had in mind. John 2 reveals what God has in mind – abundance – and the mother of Jesus nudges us to ask what God had in mind – in the face of poverty, suffering and evil. I believe it is our responsibility to ask these questions and to nudge the Divine. I don’t think that is disrespectful. I think that is being honest with God. Can we be bold enough to pose the questions and nudge God? Can we say to God, “they have no wine?”
When I officiate at a wedding I always say the following, “When two people promise lifelong faithfulness to one another we hear and see something sacred.” A wedding ceremony is a chance for us to glimpse the holy as the couple takes the huge risk of committing to face the years together and to experience life’s joys and sorrows as one. That is also the commitment – the covenant – that God has made with us. We see that so completely in Jesus Christ, sent by God to show us how much we are unconditionally, faithfully and extravagantly loved – now and forever. This week’s readings invite us to trust in the God, revealed in Jesus Christ, who provides abundantly for life’s needs. And so my charge to you this week is to think about where and in what ways have you experienced the extravagance of God’s love for you and for all creation? How might you celebrate God’s extravagant love this week? And where might you find the opportunity to be like Jesus’ mother and prod God and others to listen to the cries of those who do not feel this way?
Sometimes I wonder if the miracle stories in the bible do more harm than good. It’s hard to read about them without wanting one of your own. Even if we haven’t experienced them or seen them – even if we don’t believe in them – the reality is that humans pray for miracles every day. Usually it’s not for more wine, but for healing or for new opportunities or relationships. Some are answered and others are not. There does not seem to be a formula that humans can understand for success or failure. That doesn’t mean we don’t have enough faith, or that we didn’t nudge strongly enough like Mary, or that we or someone else was not worthy. Maybe we can’t make a miracle happen because that’s not our job. Faith or even prodding or nudging God does not work miracles. God does. To concentrate on the strength of our own actions or belief is to practice magic. To concentrate on the strength of God is to practice faith. To believe is our job. The rest is up to the God who loves us extravagantly and wants the best for us.
If the miracles of Jesus are difficult for you to believe, or if they seem like magic – because let’s be honest they do seem that way for 21st century Christians – maybe what we can take away from this text is that miracles are just signs that point to something else. The story of Jesus turning water into wine is at its most basic a story that shows us who Jesus is and it makes the disciples believe in him. This was important because the disciples had just been asked to follow him and they probably had a lot of doubts and questions. This sign helped them to trust and have faith in Jesus. The story does not have to be taken literally, it just needs to be taken seriously. The wedding in Cana also gives all of us a chance to reflect upon the ways that God’s abundant love is at work among us. The extravagant gesture at Cana is a sign of God’s kingdom that has begun in Jesus Christ and all that is asked of us is to be like the disciples – to trust and have faith. May it be so. Amen.
References:
Bread of Angels by Barbara Brown Taylor, “The Problem with Miracles.”
Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1, Second Sunday After The Epiphany.